“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” – Proverbs 3: 5
Between office work and trying to live my “why”, I always find time to watch series. This was always my entire weekend, being a hermit until lately. I did some calculations – If one episode is 56 minutes and I watch 5 episodes, I would have been staring at my screen for about 5 hours. In my defense, I have perfect eyes, but it’s the thought that when I was done watched 5 hours of TV I would have wasted 5 hours of my life watching something that wasn’t entirely helpful to me. So I learned to limit it to just a handful (except based on recommendation) – Game of Thrones, Person of Interest, Narcos and occasionally Scandal.
Now here’s the thing with Game of Thrones: It’s only ten episodes per season, and it’s only one season a year. In April. And it’s only 10 episodes every year. Obviously I don’t have HBO so I have to wait to download from the Internet. Sometimes, with my work load and other commitments, including sleep, I have to wait for a few weeks so I can watch in “omnibus” mode.
But the wait.
I hate not being in the know, so unlike the other humans who threaten to shoot another person for sharing spoilers online, I intentionally go hunting for spoilers. I like to know who dies next, and what happens in King’s Landing and pretty much everything, before I watch. No surprises. Can’t blame a girl. There’s too much blood and gore, as if real life wasn’t hard enough.
And it’s the same thing with real life for me. I like to have all the answers. I like to know the end from the beginning. What will happen 3 years from now if I make this decision? Are the statistics in my favour? Will this be a smart move a few years from now? If it doesn’t seem like I’ll get what I want, I don’t attempt. I don’t touch what I can’t grab. I don’t take unnecessary risks. I’m heavily guarded and I like to stay that way.
Thing is, with life, you can’t know it all. I always wish I could google projections or maybe just straight up ask God to tell me what He knows. But I think that’s where faith comes in. It’s in blindly trusting and following God, knowing that His plans are always good. So I don’t know who I will marry, or how many kids I’ll have and all the other details. But I think that knowing God is enough is all I ever need to know.
Just enough light for the step I’m on.
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”