Posts tagged Jesus

On Ragdolls and Elastic Hearts

“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147: 3

But just before the wounds heal you run back to the same things that caused them. Maybe it’s the lure of the familiar, or maybe it’s to show them you bruise easily. So they can see how much they hurt you? Or so they can try to fix you?

 
But you were already fixed.

 

Every tear, He wiped away. Every time they tried to tear your heart to shreds, He came through. Do you remember those nights that you cried so much you wondered if you would run out of tears? Do you remember when you thought that maybe, just maybe, if you stayed long enough in bed the world would go on and leave you behind so you could rest in peace? Do you remember when you would cry out asking who you really were and why your life was like a soap opera written by a sadist child? Do you remember when you thought that maybe Cain’s mark was on you too, so no one could love you or stay with you? Do you remember your whole body shook with the pain and all you wanted was for someone to hold you still?

 

He heard you.

 
He heard you, on those nights you thought that you were better off dead than alive. He held you when you shook with pain and tears and calmed your fears. He patted your hair and cupped your face in His hands, then He wiped your tears. On the night when loneliness was eating you from the inside, He was there. His arms were wide open embracing you. And you fit right into the nook, His nook.

 

But you forgot.

 
You wanted something “tangible” you said. You forgot His love was the most tangible thing you ever knew. Everything else was so ephemeral. But you chose that over love that never left. So you took your heart back from Him and gave it to the one who broke it before. Your heart is such a gift but on whose altar are you offering it?

 
He did it again.

 
Not Him, the other one you gave your heart to. You thought that your heart could stretch without limit, elastic heart. Your precious little gift you so willingly threw at his feet. You didn’t know how to handle it, neither did he. So he let it drop. Smithereens and fragments so little that they hurt to pick up. You are his rag doll now. And you’re too ashamed to come back to your fixer.

 

But He was always here.

 

The Love was always here. On the sidelines where you left Him when you went off. He’s here now, arms wide open. Waiting for you. He’s whispering:

 

“Let Light In, Let Me In”

 
Excerpts from my book, out Easter 2017

The Essential Jesus

“I ain’t here to argue about his facial features/ Or here to convert atheists into believers/ I’m just trying to say the way school need teachers/ The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that’s the way I need Jesus… But if I talk about God my record won’t get played” – Kanye West, Jesus Walks

 

Not His facial features or even skin colour. And I say skin colour because lately someone has been trying unsuccessfully convince me that when Jesus was on earth, He came in form of the Negroid race. And this is not me doubting that He was. It’s just the whole idea of obsessing over His skin colour or race that I find irritating. I am black, African, and I know my Black is Legendary. I am here in Nigeria, but I’ve followed the movement since Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin when he went to buy Skittles, up until a few weeks ago when I saw Lacquan MacDonald’s murder video. I love Bree Newsome, and I think Rachel Dolezal is blacker at heart than Ben Carson will ever be. But I digress.

So I’ve been reading in Revelations 1:14-16, and Daniel 10:6 that Jesus hair was like wool and skin was like Bronze or Topaz, meaning Jesus was black, technically. Also means, he was probably looking like Wole Soyinka or Al Sharpton with white hair. Hmmm. This should make me feel good, you know that my savior and I share the same race. It should also make me feel superior to Asians, Persians, Hispanics and Caucasians, I mean we’re talking about Jesus here. But even the whole place where this argument comes from is skewed.

And you know why this whole argument is pointless? It is because while we’re here trying to argue about which race or form He came in, we’re missing the whole essence and person behind the skin. We’re missing the Jesus who was at Jacob’s well and started a conversation with a Samaritan woman, even though He knew that Jews and Samaritans didn’t quite get along. I’m saying that we miss out on Jesus as our Friend because we want to make sure He’s the right colour to be our friend.  We’ll miss out on the Jesus that didn’t discriminate, because we want to prove a point.

We argue too much, about the time of the year He was truly born, when it should be enough for us why He was born. We argue about His skin colour, even though He would have still died if it was one dead beat black man or a trailer park white “trash”.

I think that those who really know Jesus and have experienced Him do not worry about those things. Jesus is a the King, Deliverer, Counsellor, Savior, First Responder, Shoulder to lean on and all round Cool Guy. But then again, maybe why you only see the race is because you don’t really know Him. I hope that you see Him in everyone around you too.

 

Kanye’s song got played. I hope my blog will get read…

On Easter and New Beginnings

Originally posted Easter 2013

Happy Easter Darlings!

 

Yes I know it’s been like forever. February was a mess (was ill, on and off), and well, March brought it’s madness on many levels, but I’m glad to be alive.

It’s Easter and that means so many things. First, it means that we all get the chance to start afresh,  new beginnings, fresh oil. A lot of times, life deals us heavy blows and we often find detours on our maps, but Easter says “keep it moving”.

 

When you think that no one has got your back, Easter says “Jesus loves you enough to give you everything”. It’s a reminder that there is always someone willing to help you carry your Cross, if you will just let them know you need help. Easter is a reminder that no matter how many times we fall, you can rise from the ashes! Easter means that provided you are alive, you can still win. And it’s okay to forgive yourself and the ones who hurt you; and to move on from that place to a place of happiness. Easter offers you a clean slate, take it. As Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist, “As he mused about these things, he realized that he had to choose between thinking of himself as the poor victim of a thief and as an adventurer in quest of his treasure”

In the new quarter, there’s a whole new lease of life that you can take advantage of. Do the things that you only vaguely considered, because if you can think it, you can do it. There’s so much that life has to offer- friendship, happiness, success, love and so much more. By all means, take it, you deserve it. You just never know when the whole universe will conspire to favour you.

And bursting in this new lease of life, I hope to update my blog more often, twice a month minimum, so help me God. I hope what I write is well received and feedback is given.

So, in the meantime, Happy Easter again. When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

And talking about new beginnings, did you notice my new domain name?