The Girl who walked on Water

“Come”, he said.


Breathe deeply. Hold your breath. Let it out. Repeat. Then step out. One foot, then the next. Forward. Repeat.

That’s all she had to do – deep breaths, one foot in front of the other, forward movement – to walk on water. It seemed easy except she never got past taking deep breaths, understandably so. Who would imagine that she would ever contemplate walking on water, she who couldn’t swim? The absurdity and sheer insanity of it was worrisome. She had always played safe – no late nights, no speeding, no unhealthy eating – and it had always worked for her.


But then it was He who was calling out to her. He seemed to always have a clearer picture of these things than anyone else. And He seemed trustworthy. He was out on the water too, and He seemed pretty comfortable so maybe He knew more about these things than she did. She had read in the past about how Peter walked out on the water to meet Him – somewhere on the way He took his eyes of the man, Jesus, and he started sinking. Jesus saved him, but still, she wasn’t one to take chances.


Her gaze could be on a million things at once, so how could she keep her eyes stayed on Him? There were bills to be paid, goals to fulfill and dreams that she had to live out in colour. Then the nightmares too. It was hard. He had always told her not to worry, but surely He must know she was a worrier and thinker.


But this boat didn’t feel as good anymore.


In a way, she’d worried herself into a hole. One that caused her boat to fill up with water. And it was filling up so rapidly it didn’t make any more sense to stay in it. And well, He was persistent and reassuring. He had never stopped calling out to her, so maybe it was time to try this out.


Gingerly, with her eyes on Him, and her heart on His word, she tried again.

Breathe deeply. Hold your breath. Let it out. Repeat. Then step out. One foot, then the next. Forward. Repeat.

And boy, did she walk!

And there was sinking, and floating, and walking and flying, and tears and laughter. And there was failing and starting over again.

But she was never ever afraid of raging storms again.


On Staying Right in the Middle

There’s a middle, and anyone who has been severely depressed and has had to take mood stabilizers would know this. Because you’re trying not to feel the valley lows, you become a bit numb to the really highs. So you’re right in the middle. Survival Mode.


It’s the same way if you’re economical with your emotions. You don’t let yourself hope too much, since they say “He that is down needs fear no fall”. So you don’t open up, and don’t let yourself feel vulnerable. It’s a bit like the scales on fish, maybe just harder to take off. But you’re never going to be able to feel all of the good stuff, if you do not even permit yourself to feel. Don’t be so stuck with the familiar, even that is changing and leaving you behind.

Step outside ’cause summertime’s in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face
‘Cause you ain’t ever gonna burn my heart out – Oasis, Don’t Look Back in Anger


On Getting out of the Boat

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.


“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist 


Yesterday I read that Yogi Berra passed away at the age of 90. He was an American Baseball legend who played in 14 World Series and was on the winning team 10 of these times. Yogi Berra had passed his prime, even by the time my parents were grown. So how do I know Yogi?

Yogi was famous for Yogisms, his quotes, among them the famous “it ain’t over till it’s over”. Yogi’s best quote as far as I’m concerned is “When you get to a fork in the road, take it”. For someone like me who “supposedly” shies away from having to make important decisions, taking a fork in the road is always good idea. I spend half the time contemplating and still don’t make a decision based on logic. Half the time, we usually have a fair idea where we should be at a certain point in our lives. Some people are even blessed with a clear view of which paths to take and have the courage to do what they should. For the rest of us, there’s just enough light for the step you’re on. Then there’s intuition and gut-feeling, understanding times and seasons and relying on the still small Voice telling you which way to go.

When we’ve dealt with direction, we still face fear. Maybe we’ve made too many wrong decisions and are not sure we can live through the consequences of another wrong turn. Or maybe we’ve just gotten too comfortable with the status quo and would rather not trouble the water (As an aside,  isn’t the blessing always in stepping first into the troubled pool? Selah). If it ain’t broke, we don’t fix.

What I do know is that everything that can go wrong can also go incredibly right and you don’t know if you don’t try. You’ll never cross the ocean if you’re afraid to lose sight of the shore. And maybe the beauty is in the journey. Because it’s on the journey we become masters- we learn patience, tolerance, how to deal with uncertainty and more importantly Trust. You’ll learn to ruthlessly trust the One who holds everything together.


You’ll never walk on water if you don’t step out of the boat.


” I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not be afraid I will help you.’ “