In Retrospect

I had a million things to write, but I’ll save it.


I’m mighty grateful for a year in which I saw many different sides of myself, my friends (and those I thought were my friends), my family and my God. God has surrounded me with good people, I can’t even begin to explain how blessed I feel that I have these people around me. I’ve met people off the Internet that only God could have arranged our meeting. I’ve learned that people are full of so much love, and while I keep looking out for myself, it’s refreshing to know that I have a handful of people looking out for me too. It’s even more amazing to have friends who can relate because your journeys are similar. I’ve learned a few things from people I thought were my friends, but that is just human nature. I don’t take prisoners. I have an amazing support system in my family. Irrespective of how things have gone, God has held and comforted us. And we’re stronger.


When you’re in a long term relationship with someone, you watch them unravel and get to know a little more about them each passing day. It’s the same thing with God, except it’s on a greater scale. And I feel super duper blessed that God has shown and keeps showing me the many sides to Him. I’ve seen First Responder, Father, Saviour, Friend, Lover, Provider, Protector and Companion. So that when I call Him these names, I really mean them. And it’s beautiful to see. Sometimes He answers my most frivolous requests, sometimes He doesn’t answer my deepest desires. But I know that everything He does is good for me. So I trust Him.


And I’ve come to love myself. I try to challenge myself, but I also cut myself some slack for going through this thing called life gracefully. I’ve watched myself evolve and seen the good and the bad, and I still love all of me. I also really really like myself, and I hope to celebrate myself a lot more.


So here’s to a New Year of shameless self-promotion, a lot of love, a lot of light, a lot of energy and positive energy. A year in which I will not dim my light anymore.


Thank you for all your love.


xoxo <3 :*






Gbemisola Ero-Phillips

You’ve Got the Love

Originally posted on April 20, 2015

“Well I’ve been searching high, I’ve been searching low (to)

Feel this completeness, everywhere that I go.

Maybe if I just keep walking, walking, walking

Through my mind I’ll stumble on it somewhere

And somehow in this space and time I will lose my worrying mind”- No Love Child, Corrine Bailey Rae


They say when all you can see is your pain, you lose sight of God. I used to write about love and sorrow, and pain and heartbreak. I used to be filled with longing for the things I didn’t have and it consumed me so much that I lost sight of the things I already had.


For a long time, all I did was ask God for things that I wanted. I had a long list and one of the top 5 items was a partner. Seeing as I had done a shoddy job at choosing for myself, I decided to wait for Him to help me with that last major bit. I had prayed about it before then, albeit subjectively. So this time I went all in and prayed again. And all I could hear was “Live Child. Live”


I had written previously about living and all the things you could do while you were single and waiting for something to happen. It turned out that I never took my own advice. I’d write the things that I thought and felt at the moment, but I never went back to read them when I needed the hope I always wrote about. Well, early this year, I told myself that I would start taking my own advice and living freely. There’s so much I missed out on not living to my full potential, and now it’s a herculean task trying to catch up.


Three months into 2015, I wonder where this Gbemi was hiding before. I know that there was a time for standing still, the time when I was supposed to grow root and be strong for the future. And I don’t think that I regret any part. I just wish that I had been a little braver. I’ve seen doors open only because I dared to knock. I’ve seen all the love around me only because I dared to open my heart. I’ve learned that God didn’t use the potter analogy for nothing. Because no matter how many times I’ve felt broken and torn, He pieces me back together piece by piece till I’m whole and brand new again.


Above all, I’ve come to realise that the greatest love I’ll ever have is my Father’s love. And that’s manifested in my love for myself and the love that I have to give. I’ve learned to open my heart to the endless possibilities that life can offer. I’ve learned that it’s okay to reach out to grab the things I want, because not everything is a mirage.  I’ve grown to a whole new level of self-love that scares me sometimes. I went from the girl who was (and is probably still) too shy to speak in public to being the light of the world.
In the end the love was always here, only it was within.