“It is beautiful beneath the sea, but if you stay too long you’ll drown” – The Three-Eyed Raven, Game of Thrones
So if you’re like me and your pretend face is really good, and your fall-back game is strong, you can move on in the blink of an eye. But the problem is a lot of times I can move on without letting go. I only just learned that moving on and letting go are two entirely different experiences. (Of course every event or experience is a memory from which you can draw wisdom from in the future, this doesn’t mean that you didn’t let go of the experience/ event). So what I’d typically do when a phase of my life was over was either cry my eyes out, worry myself to death trying to figure out the whys and why nots or just get resentful of everyone/everything. Then one day I’d decide that life had to continue so I’d wake up and snap out of it and convince myself that I had moved on, without really letting go. Sometimes it would be a person or friendship, or a lost opportunity.
What this meant was/is that I could move on from a million things but still be entangled in the same old web. I’d move on but have paraphernalia of the past (everyone who knows me knows I’m a hoarder of sorts) carefully arranged in advance in the future. And instead of just learning from the past and moving on, I’d feel a certain obligation and always run back because I couldn’t stop longing.
What I’ve learned over the past few days/weeks is that looking back endlessly has the tendency to make you stagnant. And let’s not forget that when you look back for too long, you miss out on the present and so many “what could be’s”. Let the past be past, with all its longings and hurt and resentment, there’s so much more to see.
Love and Light.