The Becoming

Lazarus Girl

April 17, 2016

Posted in Easter 2015

Hi. My name is Gbemisola and I’m a Lazarus Girl. I was dead for a long time, much longer than the real Lazarus. And I died over and over again. I died not once or twice, probably more than thrice too. Don’t ask how I did it, you’re probably dead yourself too.

 

You see the thing with dying is that you don’t even know you’re dead. You just find that your heart doesn’t beat as it used to. You stop breathing in air. And everywhere is quiet. It’s gradual. It shuts you off from everyone else. I mean you’re dead.

 

But every time I died, Love raised me up. It’s something like Sleeping Beauty, except that it’s still different, better in a way. The Princess was under a spell, she couldn’t help but sleep. But I- I could choose between life and death, between darkness and light.

The thing with freewill and choice is that it is weird. Sometimes one simply doesn’t need too many options. So every time I died, it was a conscious choice. There was always light on one hand, not blinding like floodlights or hot like halogen lamps; Just a warm glow that embraces you. There was always light. But I loved the darkness more.

I always knew my way around in the dark. It’s a bit like how you know your way around your house when the power is out. I always felt safe and anonymous in the dark, never been one to enjoy the spotlight. So I let the darkness envelope me. It feels like a warm hug from behind, till it is two hands around your neck. At first it’s a caress, then it’s a choke hold. And before you can think to run to the light, it’s all blank. And still.

 

“In Him was life, and that LIFE was the LIGHT of mankind. The light SHINES in darkness and the darkness has not overcome it”- John 1:3-5

 

The thing about darkness is that it can’t survive the light. Sometimes all it tale is the flick of a switch. Other times it’s as gradual as the rising of the sun. Or the full moon that’s out tonight. The thing with light is that you don’t have to walk all the way to find it. It can find you anywhere. All you have to do is let it in.

 

I’m the child that was in the darkness of the grave for years. And the Light always found me. I loved the lure of the darkness and even though it left me for dead, the Light and Life of God always found me.

Like Lazarus, Jesus called me out of the grave into the Light. And when He rose that Easter Sunday many years ago, He won life for me forever.

Lazarus Girl.

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