Yes Lord, it’s me again.
I have strayed and nearly forgotten my source in my search for my “dele” bread. But look at me back at your feet. And as usual, i have needs. I know that You knew me from my mother’s womb. So i’m sure what I’m about to say will not surprise you. I want a green card. I want to go to America or anywhere else. I have never been a fan of checking out, but lately I’ve been thinking that my journey in Nigeria is really just a detour. I know, You can read my every thought, but i would really like to explain myself.
You see, i have never stopped loving Nigeria. I still pray for her. The last few times i shed tears lately, it’s been about her. But you see, i can’t keep breaking my heart every time. If i had a man who did the same bad things to me over and over again, i would have kicked him to the curb.I have forgiven Nigeria over and over again. But there’s not much emotion left for her. I want to get married and have children.
Aha! Marriage. Shebi You kuku saw that young man that police killed some days after his wedding, Ugochukwu Ozuah. We still have not found the policemen that killed him. The IG said it is not his men. And who are the rest of us to argue when Oga has spoken. I don’t think anyone is investigating. This man was your creation, somebody’s son, another’s husband. He had dreams, he was going to start sharing them with his wife. But look what they did. I don’t want to die that way. I don’t want anyone i know to die that way. If there is an accident, i want forensic investigations like i see on CSI. I want someone to be responsible. But that doesn’t seem like it will happen in this my Nigeria. So, i want out.
And children. They are your special gifts. And i can’t lie, You have over blessed us with children lately. I mean, look how many “occupy” babies we have. I hear our median age is 19. But can we take care of them? There’s no healthcare here. Maternal mortality here is among the highest in the world. People who have money now go abroad to have their babies. So is it not better for me to kuku check out before then?
I don’t want to raise my children here. I don’t want them to have the kind of mentality that reigns in Nigeria. See last month, an old writer, Achebe published his civil war memoirs. I did not see the war. My mother was a child then. But see people my age crying for apology because the old man claims someone starved his ethnic group. These same people ehn, their states are flooded. In weeks, there will be cholera and Bilharzia epidemics in those zones. But You know us, we only chase shadows.
You see, i want to go to church with my family without being frisked. I want us to go and visit our Muslim friends at Sallah without thinking that they are the ones that stabbed the last set of Christians to death in Kano. But when will that happen? When will we realize that You can fight your own battles? That You can reveal yourself to anyone in any way You please?
You see, every day, life gets harder for Nigerians. Many of us thought that with democracy, we would be living the “Arab money” kind of life. But see us. My father still struggles to pay my brothers’fees because he does not want him to join a secret cult in a public university, the kind i graduated from that has made me one of the fastest runners in my village.
By the way, those #Aluu4, i hear they were in a secret cult. Even then, that is still not a way to die. I thought being burnt at the stakes was something that ended centuries ago. But look at us. You know everything, but don’t we Nigerians surprise you sometimes. And we will never find the perpetrators. Abi no be we?….
And do You see sometimes how food is expensive? In this our country with fine soil. Sometimes i cry when i go to market. Chai! Is it that bad or we are just exploitative?
And then, my dear Lord, when will we have selfless leaders. Leaders who will learn the value of human life. If You, God, numbered all the hairs on our head, why do mere mortals act like we are just dogs?
Is it okay for people to be killed on their way from the mosque or bombed in church? Is it okay for a sales girl to be in a shop and hit by a policeman’s stray bullet? I don’t think so. I know You don’t either. I don’t want to live like this, so let me leave now.
And finally Lord, was Jona in the initial plan or is this a detour?