The Girl who walked on Water

“Come”, he said.


Breathe deeply. Hold your breath. Let it out. Repeat. Then step out. One foot, then the next. Forward. Repeat.

That’s all she had to do – deep breaths, one foot in front of the other, forward movement – to walk on water. It seemed easy except she never got past taking deep breaths, understandably so. Who would imagine that she would ever contemplate walking on water, she who couldn’t swim? The absurdity and sheer insanity of it was worrisome. She had always played safe – no late nights, no speeding, no unhealthy eating – and it had always worked for her.


But then it was He who was calling out to her. He seemed to always have a clearer picture of these things than anyone else. And He seemed trustworthy. He was out on the water too, and He seemed pretty comfortable so maybe He knew more about these things than she did. She had read in the past about how Peter walked out on the water to meet Him – somewhere on the way He took his eyes of the man, Jesus, and he started sinking. Jesus saved him, but still, she wasn’t one to take chances.


Her gaze could be on a million things at once, so how could she keep her eyes stayed on Him? There were bills to be paid, goals to fulfill and dreams that she had to live out in colour. Then the nightmares too. It was hard. He had always told her not to worry, but surely He must know she was a worrier and thinker.


But this boat didn’t feel as good anymore.


In a way, she’d worried herself into a hole. One that caused her boat to fill up with water. And it was filling up so rapidly it didn’t make any more sense to stay in it. And well, He was persistent and reassuring. He had never stopped calling out to her, so maybe it was time to try this out.


Gingerly, with her eyes on Him, and her heart on His word, she tried again.

Breathe deeply. Hold your breath. Let it out. Repeat. Then step out. One foot, then the next. Forward. Repeat.

And boy, did she walk!

And there was sinking, and floating, and walking and flying, and tears and laughter. And there was failing and starting over again.

But she was never ever afraid of raging storms again.


My Beautiful Disruption

“Is it dusk yet. Yes? Okay. Listen up! This will be long.

When I took this photo, I was just hoping to capture a beautiful sunset as I used to do every evening on my way home over the bridge. Then this danfo comes out of nowhere to interrupt my view but I’m still clicking away anyways. I caught a few good shots, but for some reason I could never delete this one.

A few months and #snapseededits later, I look at this disrupted photo and it’s beautiful. And clearly different from all of the other sunrise and sunset photos I’ve taken.

God was telling me that this Disruption is my life. And it’s oh-so beautiful. And so, because I’ve put this off too long, I’d like to introduce you all to “The Beautiful Disruption” 😊

It’s been a long time coming, and it’s something that God gave me for everyone. It’s a collection of personal essays that strip the layers off and show you how God went out of His way to create this beauty that my life is, by removing everyone and everything that stood in His way, and sometimes, like this picture, by putting roadblocks in my way. And all the lessons I learned along the way.

Now it gets better: Some of us (my blog readers) will get the chance to share in this project. You get to read a few chapters. And because I know how important it is for us to tell our stories, I’m throwing it open for anyone who is willing to share their Disruption stories with the world. The only requirement is that you must realize that there is no shame. You didn’t go through all of this not to tell your stories.

Over the next couple of months, I’ll be sharing excerpts on the blog. I can’t wait for this journey.”


First I want to apologize for being away from here for so long. I wish I had a perfect and believable excuse, I don’t. I’ve just been feeling dissatisfied and uninspired (more on this later). I feel like there’s a lot on my plate but I’m learning to prioritize.

Back to the matter at hand.

I posted the text above and picture above a couple of weeks ago on the gram and I’m a little over excited even. I was going to do all I had to do in private, but i’m reminded that in the end it isn’t always about me. God gave me for me, and for many other people. I threw it open and the response has been overwhelming, which was just confirmation that God wasn’t playing when He asked me to go on.

I’m currently working on a dedicated website for this, should be up in another few months, and then we can start sharing. If you would like to be a part of this project or support it in any way, please holla!

Love and Light


-It can't work-

Today will Probably Be the worst day of your life

Or the best.

And this is not a motivational speech, I promise.

I know we’ve all heard lines along “the day is what you make of it” so much that it sounds cliche. Well, it’s the truth. Every day has potential, to be the worst day of your life or the best day of your life. Your day can start off with everything that could possibly go wrong going wrong. While I believe in God, and force majeure, I also know that we often abdicate our duties to fate. And I know this, because I’ve been in the school of thought of waiting for perfect timing or conditions, or just a good vibe. I always imagined I would just sit down with these ideas and knowledge, and one day BOOM out of nowhere, I’m top of the game in my field. And the book I always swore I would write, well one day, I would just see my book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Well, that didn’t quite work.

No. It didn’t work AT ALL.

Over the last few months, I’ve come to learn that if you want to do something, just do it. As they say, “leap, the net will appear”. If you’ve done your due dilligence about any decision you want to make, then just go ahead and do it. Don’t think yourself out of an innovative idea with impossibilities that only exist in your mind. There are no “perfect conditions”. There will always be bills to pay, and traffic, and everyone gets stressed, especially if you live in Lagos. If you wanted excuses for everything you did not want to do, you could write a whole book. In the words of Bruce Lee “if you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you will never get it done”

With every day that passes, you miss out on a day that could have been the day you started – the day you started writing, the day you started a business, the day you started creating – and you’re running out of time. Except you’re ageing in reverse (a la Benjamin Button), every day is one less day in the grand scheme of things. No one can pick your brains when you die, so if you think of something and you don’t do it, the idea dies with you. Or perhaps someone else will do it. Whatever, you get the idea.

Light a fire where you are.

Have a great week.

Prov 3 5

On Loving Spoilers

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” – Proverbs 3: 5

Between office work and trying to live my “why”, I always find time to watch series. This was always my entire weekend, being a hermit until lately. I did some calculations – If one episode is 56 minutes and I watch 5 episodes, I would have been staring at my screen for about 5 hours. In my defense, I have perfect eyes, but it’s the thought that when I was done watched 5 hours of TV I would have wasted 5 hours of my life watching something that wasn’t entirely helpful to me. So I learned to limit it to just a handful (except based on recommendation) – Game of Thrones, Person of Interest, Narcos and occasionally Scandal.


Now here’s the thing with Game of Thrones: It’s only ten episodes per season, and it’s only one season a year. In April. And it’s only 10 episodes every year. Obviously I don’t have HBO so I have to wait to download from the Internet. Sometimes, with my work load and other commitments, including sleep, I have to wait for a few weeks so I can watch in “omnibus” mode.


But the wait.

I hate not being in the know, so unlike the other humans who threaten to shoot another person for sharing spoilers online, I intentionally go hunting for spoilers. I like to know who dies next, and  what happens in King’s Landing and pretty much everything, before I watch. No surprises. Can’t blame a girl. There’s too much blood and gore, as if real life wasn’t hard enough.


And it’s the same thing with real life for me. I like to have all the answers. I like to know the end from the beginning. What will happen 3 years from now if I make this decision? Are the statistics in my favour? Will this be a smart move a few years from now? If it doesn’t seem like I’ll get what I want, I don’t attempt. I don’t touch what I can’t grab. I don’t take unnecessary risks. I’m heavily guarded and I like to stay that way.


Thing is, with life, you can’t know it all. I always wish I could google projections or maybe just straight up ask God to tell me what He knows. But I think that’s where faith comes in. It’s in blindly trusting and following God, knowing that His plans are always good. So I don’t know who I will marry, or how many kids I’ll have and all the other details. But I think that knowing God is enough is all I ever need to know.

Just enough light for the step I’m on.


“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”

Banksy Band Aid Heart

Stay Here With Me

When rejection makes you do a double take on your self-esteem, remember the gifts that you have to offer the world
– Gbemisola Ero-Phillips


My darling, you’ve been looking back way too long. Do you not see how looking back hurts our pace? Our rhythm? It slows us down. Do not relive all the pain, let me take it off you. I have relieved you of all your burdens. Do not try to help me. I do not need your help with that. All I ask is that you hand them to me. Wholly. Withholding nothing . Only then will you be free to see me as I truly am, without the blurring that pain can cause. You do not need closure. You cannot know it all. And if you knew the truth, you couldn’t bear it all. What you need is healing, and there is plenty of that with Me.


I love you, and I could never unlove you. Do not ever forget this. If you walk hand in hand with me, you will see how my heart melts for you. How I value you and how I’m especially fond of you. I know that you get weary from worry about what the future holds, but trust me to give you just enough light for the step you’re on, and then the next. I don’t want you to run off on your own.


You think that I don’t understand what it feels like to be rejected. You forget that I was rejected too, spurned by my own people because of my social status. I got whipped and spit on and mocked by the very ones I came to save. But I did not take it to heart, and you shouldn’t either. When the world shuts the door in your face, remember to turn around into My waiting embrace. The plan was, and still is bigger than a few wrong turns. My arms are always open. And when the world makes you doubt who you are, do not ever forget that I made you perfect.


“You’re altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you ” (Songs of Solomon 4:7)


2015: Don’t Look Back In Anger

Comparison is an act of violence against the self” – Iyanla Vanzant


This year I think that Instagram was one of my biggest weaknesses. The thing with Instagram is that everyone puts the good out there for you to see. And Lord knows there’s so much good on there (Oh by the way, I’ve been winning stuff there- Airtime from Afric Holidays, a bowl of sauce from Mobo Kitchen and Beat FM, a Kindle Book from Pretty Perfect Living and Scented Candles from Mystiquee Perfumery and livinginlekki.com ). There are a whole lot of beautiful people and places, and so many young people doing great. I see many people in their early 20s, and for some reason a lot of 25 year old women. Of course it reminds me of the year I was 25 and what I did for myself.


So let’s throw it back a little (By the way, I’m not shading or subbing anyone. I’m just owning my narrative).  A few months before my 25th Birthday, I started to feel the tremors around. (I wrote about tremors in the past and how God uses it to make you uncomfortable when it’s time to move). I had just moved houses and changed jobs so it wasn’t any of those. I was in a relationship and everything seemed perfect (from where I stood at the time). We were two young people in love, and doing the right thing. There was no reason why this love would not work. Fast forward to about five weeks before my 25th birthday I noticed that the relationship was dying and being one that would not allow it to die a natural death, I decided to ask him where we stood. Of course by asking him I literally just spoke the words on his lips and he decided that we should break up and go our separate ways. At the time, we had dated for 2 years and I had literally built my life around him. So I had no life and no sense of direction. In the weeks preceding the break up I had started having a crisis of consciousness, so bad that I wanted to start therapy, but after the break up, it became full blown.


So while many people spent their 25th year inventing and just really doing things, I was just unraveling and trying to get to know myself. And it was a mess. I remember spending much of my birthday crying (after going home from the wedding where I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up; by the way, this was after I had posted really great pictures on Instagram) until my friend came to get me and we ate, drank and binge-watched Grey’s Anatomy till we fell asleep. The next few months were a blur- work, home, Bible, sleep, church. I did cry a lot over the next few months, and I wrote too. Some of the most popular posts on here were written in that time, and they came from somewhere really deep in my heart that I could only reach because it was broken (I was like Adele). I could stand outside situations and view things in perspective, and more importantly, I watched myself evolve into this strong, beautiful woman (it almost feels like an ugly duckling story) with pride. Everything I am now, I fought to earn it, and I have been given grace too. So while I didn’t start a business or get into any 30 under 30 list, me and God, we made magic. And it is oh so beautiful.


I threw it back a little for this: It’s the end of the year and we are likely to focus on achievements and accomplishments and berate ourselves if we didn’t quite meet the targets we set. But go easy on yourself. You are still here, you are a fighter. 2016 is another chance to shoot your shot. I don’t know how much I achieved this year, I just know that some of my fiercest battles were fought and won this year and I’m grateful to be standing here in good physical and mental health. Of course, I missed a lot of personal targets, but I’m so grateful for all the spontaneous blessings. I had so many new “principles”, but I’ve learned to let love win and more importantly, let the Spirit lead. And I’m still growing, and stretching and moving. And it’s beautiful and painful. But it’s worth it.

If you’re still here, you’re winning.

Happy Holidays.

Love and Light. xo



The Essential Jesus

“I ain’t here to argue about his facial features/ Or here to convert atheists into believers/ I’m just trying to say the way school need teachers/ The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that’s the way I need Jesus… But if I talk about God my record won’t get played” – Kanye West, Jesus Walks


Not His facial features or even skin colour. And I say skin colour because lately someone has been trying unsuccessfully convince me that when Jesus was on earth, He came in form of the Negroid race. And this is not me doubting that He was. It’s just the whole idea of obsessing over His skin colour or race that I find irritating. I am black, African, and I know my Black is Legendary. I am here in Nigeria, but I’ve followed the movement since Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin when he went to buy Skittles, up until a few weeks ago when I saw Lacquan MacDonald’s murder video. I love Bree Newsome, and I think Rachel Dolezal is blacker at heart than Ben Carson will ever be. But I digress.

So I’ve been reading in Revelations 1:14-16, and Daniel 10:6 that Jesus hair was like wool and skin was like Bronze or Topaz, meaning Jesus was black, technically. Also means, he was probably looking like Wole Soyinka or Al Sharpton with white hair. Hmmm. This should make me feel good, you know that my savior and I share the same race. It should also make me feel superior to Asians, Persians, Hispanics and Caucasians, I mean we’re talking about Jesus here. But even the whole place where this argument comes from is skewed.

And you know why this whole argument is pointless? It is because while we’re here trying to argue about which race or form He came in, we’re missing the whole essence and person behind the skin. We’re missing the Jesus who was at Jacob’s well and started a conversation with a Samaritan woman, even though He knew that Jews and Samaritans didn’t quite get along. I’m saying that we miss out on Jesus as our Friend because we want to make sure He’s the right colour to be our friend.  We’ll miss out on the Jesus that didn’t discriminate, because we want to prove a point.

We argue too much, about the time of the year He was truly born, when it should be enough for us why He was born. We argue about His skin colour, even though He would have still died if it was one dead beat black man or a trailer park white “trash”.

I think that those who really know Jesus and have experienced Him do not worry about those things. Jesus is a the King, Deliverer, Counsellor, Savior, First Responder, Shoulder to lean on and all round Cool Guy. But then again, maybe why you only see the race is because you don’t really know Him. I hope that you see Him in everyone around you too.


Kanye’s song got played. I hope my blog will get read…

Comrades Marathon 2011

Life is a Marathon but I’m a Sprinter

They say life is a journey and the beauty of life is in the journey itself – the sights to be seen, the experiences to be had and all that other stuff. I believe it, I even wrote about it a couple of times. I also know that all of this is an adventure on the surface, but then it’s deeper on another plane (I’m trying not to sound like Jaden Smith, but you get what I’m trying to say, I hope). In another space and time, I would have said that this was one huge experiment, but then I know God doesn’t play, and I really do believe in His purpose for EVERY single atom.

I digress.

So life is a journey. And it’s obviously long distance. Because 365 days multiplied by 20 years is a whole lotta time. (I am not 20 years old by the way. I am just trying to put this whole thing in perspective). It’s easy when you have your life planned out for you – school, holiday, church, and all. When you start to struggle to figure life out on your own is when the journey really begins. So from being sheltered and taken care of, you are thrown into life as we know it.


It’s hard to figure this thing out already- what roads to take and which turns are dead ends or like our current Eko Bridge on a crazy traffic nights. Then when you figure that out, after many wrong turns (if you’re a wanderer like me), you start on what is seemingly the journey to the destination. Oh wait!


Life is not an endless journey (“to give you an expected end” Jeremiah 29:11). It’s just long distance, with many curve roads and paths with obstacles. But that’s where the problem lies in for people like me. I’m not a long distance person. I’m a sprinter, and I can’t even guarantee that I’ll go on win my Sprints. So I have a burst of energy and I’m all fired up and I zoom, and then I start looking for air and water. Or I’m too burnt out and burned from losing that I just lay on my end of the lap and cry and don’t move again. Sometimes I have blisters on my feet from the shoes that hurt or from the thorns on the way. But in all, after close to three decades of trying to figure this thing out, I’ve realized that I’m no Long Distance Runner.


Some days I imagine God waiting for me to finish my drama and tantrums and then say in a voice without emotion “Are you finally done? Let’s go.” Sometimes, He walks beside me, somedays he drags me on to the next lap. And they’re the times that He stitches and washes me, nurses me back to health and sends me on my way. Life doesn’t come with a hibernate button.


But I guess I really do get tired sometimes

(Do not be afraid. I will help you)