Posts in RantsByGbemi

Why am I still single?

 Short Answer: I’m a bad person.

Long Answer: I’m a really really bad person.

I’ve come a long way from thinking I’m a really nice person and people should look inwards to my beautiful soul to understanding and knowing and accepting myself that I’m a bad, petty person. And I actually like myself as a bad person.
Only bad single women nearing 30 get offended when someone who they’ve just met decides that 10:50pm is the best time to call. Shouldn’t you be at least grateful that someone is asking for your number and trying to get to know you? And speaking of calling, only bad women get angry when men demote themselves from people who can call to people who only whatsapp. Did we meet online? Who sent you to whatsapp? Do we know each other that much?

 

Only bad single women get angry when someone they’re texting with types in “retardese”. Because I don’t know what “xup wif u” means. And I don’t like that sometimes I can’t tell if you mean “been” or “being”, or “am” and “I’m”. And I want my man to PUNCTUATE, even if we’re texting. And DO NOT “K” ME. Go and K your sister and your exes. And do not tell me “Happy Buffday”. As my friend says, it’s not the act itself, but what it represents. Only bad single women don’t like men who can’t speak well. Only bad single women want man with clean, cut nails, or with an amazing sense of humor, or men who can just relate. Only bad women find it absurd that a man introduces himself with his professional title, “my name is Engineer Bla Bla” or “Barrister…”.

Only a bad woman has opinions. Opinions are for men, and feminists, who are also really bad single women. Good women accept that the man makes the sole decision on love, so it’s usually enough if the guy likes them and looks acceptable. And only a bad woman thinks that it’s okay to be choosy about who you want to annoy you for the rest of your life.

So yeah, I’m a bad woman. And I’m single because of all these petty things.

Carpe Annum

“Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature’s laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it’s dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared.”

Tupac Shakur, The Rose That Grew from Concrete

 

I previously wrote about having a stinging sensation on my legs and thighs when I run. It turns out that it wasn’t caused by cellulite as I was told but a more complex process. Apparently, your capillaries collapse when your muscles are not getting any activity. Once you start running again or doing cardio and your blood circulation increases, the capillaries open, but the surrounding nerves get overly excited and start sending messages to your brain. So your thighs start stinging. If you keep on, it will stop. However, if you stop, for say a month, you’ll be starting from Ground Zero when you start.

This year, I decided to get a little more exercise, and what better day to start than January 1st. I’ve been getting away with not exercising because my body seems to have a mind of its own; somedays I’m eating so much (like eating Eba at 10pm), other days I can barely finish a small serving of rice. So I’ve remained in the small size (even slightly smaller) for about 4 years now. Anyway, I just wanted to be healthier so I set out on New Year’s Day. I did a little over 1KM (I know, thank you) and ran back home, because stinging sensation. They don’t want us to exercise, but I know I’ll continue this time around. I’m rambling

It’s the same thing with goals too. You have to keep pushing regardless of how difficult it all seems and resist the urge to throw in the towel every time. It’s putting one foot in front of another and not stopping that gets us ahead. The climb is steep, but maybe if we didn’t focus so much on the challenges, we would make something meaningful. All I’m trying to say is, if we just got up and started off early, we’d get where we are headed in good time.

So by the time you read this, I’ll probably be running or would have run. This time around there are no new fancy running shoes or gym clothes to “bribe” myself. When I get enough discipline with this, I will get a reward. Hopefully I can bring this to all everything else I plan to do this year. I hope you can too.

Let’s Go!

2016: Happy New Year

Ha! Another One *in DJ Khaled’s voice*

 

I know I’m like two days late but had to go be with family.  Happy New Year. I miss when I used to text or call everyone around New Year to wish them a Happy New Year. I’ll still try though.

I have no resolutions this year. Apparently they don’t really work for me. Only plan is to do everything better than the last year and focus more on the things that matter. I hope that God helps me align my plans with His.

This year I hope that we’re all kinder to each other and we go easy on each other, this place is hard enough already as is. I hope that irrespective of economic projections we can still make things work. I hope that we stop burdening people with our expectations. I hope we see the good in everyone but we still keep our hearts guarded with all diligence. I hope that we learn to live on our own terms and focus on the people and things that bring us joy. I hope that we realize that when God said “Be fruitful and multiply”, He didn’t mean just a spouse and kids.

When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

 

Happy New Year

Best of 2015

 In the New Year, I promise to do a little more visuals, and maybe even vlog. But till then, dem no throway pikin with the water. So here’s my year in summary. (I originally shared a Youtube slide. I think I’ve outgrown it but if you like, watch it here)

I thought I would also share a few more things about 2015

Bible Verses

“For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.You let people ride over our heads;we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.”  Psalm 66:10-12

“The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.” Isaiah 51: 3

And of course the whole of Psalm 46

My Theme Songs of the Year

Tye Tribett’s Beauty for Ashes (you know the part they sing “You wouldn’t let me be, You came and set me free. I came to you with my pain and we made an exchange” that’s my bestest part) and What Can I do?

Kirk Franklin’s It’s Time 

Glowreeyah Braimah’s Miracle Worker

 

Concerts of the Year

RCCG Joshuaville’s Night of Worship

Kanye West at Glastonbury Festival (Watched on YouTube)

 

Movies of the Year

I didn’t watch a lot of movies this year, but I loved Furious 7 and War Room

So it’s not just pictures, it’s a YouTube slide of some pictures from the year. I kinda wish I had done a little more editing and all but I’m obviously still a learner. In the New Year, I promise to do a little more, and maybe even vlog. But till then, dem no throway pikin with the water. So here’s my year in summary.

I thought I would also share a few more things about 2015

Bible Verses

“For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.You let people ride over our heads;we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.”  Psalm 66:10-12

“The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.” Isaiah 51: 3

And of course the whole of Psalm 46

My Theme Songs of the Year

Tye Tribett’s Beauty for Ashes (you know the part they sing “You wouldn’t let me be, You came and set me free. I came to you with my pain and we made an exchange” that’s my bestest part) and What Can I do?

Kirk Franklin’s It’s Time 

Glowreeyah Braimah’s Miracle Worker

 

Concerts of the Year

RCCG Joshuaville’s Night of Worship

Kanye West at Glastonbury Festival (Watched on YouTube)

 

Movies of the Year

I didn’t watch a lot of movies this year, but I loved Furious 7 and War Room

 

I loved watching “Naija Women Hear Word” and “London Life, Lagos Living” on Stage this year. And thanks to my LamLam (almost twin), I got to see many new places this year.

Happy New Year’s Eve Lovers!

Stay Safe

Love and Light.

The Essential Jesus

“I ain’t here to argue about his facial features/ Or here to convert atheists into believers/ I’m just trying to say the way school need teachers/ The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that’s the way I need Jesus… But if I talk about God my record won’t get played” – Kanye West, Jesus Walks

 

Not His facial features or even skin colour. And I say skin colour because lately someone has been trying unsuccessfully convince me that when Jesus was on earth, He came in form of the Negroid race. And this is not me doubting that He was. It’s just the whole idea of obsessing over His skin colour or race that I find irritating. I am black, African, and I know my Black is Legendary. I am here in Nigeria, but I’ve followed the movement since Zimmerman shot Trayvon Martin when he went to buy Skittles, up until a few weeks ago when I saw Lacquan MacDonald’s murder video. I love Bree Newsome, and I think Rachel Dolezal is blacker at heart than Ben Carson will ever be. But I digress.

So I’ve been reading in Revelations 1:14-16, and Daniel 10:6 that Jesus hair was like wool and skin was like Bronze or Topaz, meaning Jesus was black, technically. Also means, he was probably looking like Wole Soyinka or Al Sharpton with white hair. Hmmm. This should make me feel good, you know that my savior and I share the same race. It should also make me feel superior to Asians, Persians, Hispanics and Caucasians, I mean we’re talking about Jesus here. But even the whole place where this argument comes from is skewed.

And you know why this whole argument is pointless? It is because while we’re here trying to argue about which race or form He came in, we’re missing the whole essence and person behind the skin. We’re missing the Jesus who was at Jacob’s well and started a conversation with a Samaritan woman, even though He knew that Jews and Samaritans didn’t quite get along. I’m saying that we miss out on Jesus as our Friend because we want to make sure He’s the right colour to be our friend.  We’ll miss out on the Jesus that didn’t discriminate, because we want to prove a point.

We argue too much, about the time of the year He was truly born, when it should be enough for us why He was born. We argue about His skin colour, even though He would have still died if it was one dead beat black man or a trailer park white “trash”.

I think that those who really know Jesus and have experienced Him do not worry about those things. Jesus is a the King, Deliverer, Counsellor, Savior, First Responder, Shoulder to lean on and all round Cool Guy. But then again, maybe why you only see the race is because you don’t really know Him. I hope that you see Him in everyone around you too.

 

Kanye’s song got played. I hope my blog will get read…

Lessons from 2015: Friendship

Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul”- 1 Samuel 18:3

One of the greatest lessons of this year for me was the need to cultivate good friendships. While I can say I love people, I had always been indifferent as to whether people stayed or left. This year though, I’ve learned the power that comes with good vibes and positive energy. If I have a good feeling being around someone or some people or I just feel that the energy in a place is good, I stay there. My friends have been my cheerleaders, support system, critics, sisters (and brothers) and God’s gift to me.

I also met a couple of beautiful people this year and I tried my best to stay in touch, but then again, some people are drifters. I remember praying that I’d have really good friends and meet people with love in their hearts and souls. God answered. I think it’s safe to say that I have friends for a lifetime, God willing.

 

 

David went out to meet them and said to them, “If you have come to me in friendship to help me, my heart will be joined to you; but if to betray me to my adversaries, although there is no wrong in my hands, then may the God of our fathers see you and rebuke you”- 1 Chronicles 12:17

 

This part right here. I like to think that I’m not such a difficult person to deal with. However, I’ve come to the realization that people can switch on you any moment. You don’t even have to do anything to deserve this treatment. In the same way, people will see you and just hate everything about you- your hair, the way you chew, the way you laugh, even the fact that you exist.

What I learned this year was that as long as I kept my conscience clear before God and didn’t harbor any ill-feelings towards anyone, irrespective of what they did, God always looked (looks) out for me. For every time that the enemy tried to bring me down, God fought for me and reimbursed me. God is constantly cleaning up after me, and so no one can judge me, seeing as He has already judged me worthy of love. I can’t even begin to explain here, but those who were around me this year understand what I choose not to say. I can’t say I live a charmed life, since the life I live is better than that.

 

 

You will seek Me and you will find Me, when you seek Me with all your heartJeremiah 29:13

 

At some point during the year, I was really at the end of my rope- financially, spiritually, physically and mentally. My body was shutting down, I was broke, I was lost and I was depressed and losing my mind. I would spend all my nights fighting to get my mind to be still so I could sleep. And then I’d get up in the morning and have to go to work. At some point I took a couple of days off and really sought God’s face. What I have learned is that God takes away everything that stands in the way of His relationship with you. God wants your eyes to be on Him alone, so He will remove everything distracting you. In the end, when you walk with God, it is a really beautiful experience. You can’t know someone if you’re not friends with them. God shows you different sides to Him – friend, deliverer, savior, father, advocate, provider, confidante and protector.

There’s no better friendship than His friendship.

The Alchemist Giveaway Winners

Hello there,

Long time coming, I know. But I have had a whirlwind week or two.

So I may have mentioned that I am a lousy decision maker. I struggled with picking winners and finding the right criteria for picking winners but I couldn’t decide. Finally, I decide to eliminate the people that are my friends and then pick the winners from who else is left. I hope you forgive me, there’s something special in the works for you

Here goes:

Gbemisola Oduwaiye and Temitope.O

Please send me an email at gbemisolaerop@gmail.com

Have a blessed week.

“The Alchemist” Book Giveaway

“The dunes are changed by the wind, but the desert never changes. That’s the way it will be with our love for each other. Maktub”- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

 

In Q1, I remember planning a giveaway of Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. Well, that didn’t happen because of many things – Bookshop didn’t stock, I couldn’t order from Amazon because the exchange rate was out of control and then I moved it back on my priority list. Well, the giveaway is open again as I now have copies available to readers in Lagos because of Logistics (I hope I can give Kindle copies sometime in the future). It includes a special 25th Anniversary introduction by the author. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post saying you want to win(I would love if you shared too; you know Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, Pinterest, Instagram, BBM, etc    ). I’ll pick two comments at random.

In the meantime, these are my favourite quotes from The Alchemist.

 

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.”

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”

“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

“I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.”

“When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.”

“Why do we have to listen to our hearts?” the boy asked.

“Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you will find your treasure.”

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.”

“Every blessing ignored becomes a curse.”

“You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say.”

“If you start by promising what you don’t even have yet, you’ll lose your desire to work towards getting it.”

“Intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life.”

“Don’t think about what you’ve left behind” The alchemist said to the boy as they began to ride across the sands of the desert. “If what one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return.”

“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.”

“Sometimes there’s just no way to hold back the river. Maktub (It is written.)”

 

Keep Winning!!!